I Should Have Told Her
by fictionfrek101
Summary: Chad's thoughts on his way to the hospital after his SPS kicks in. En route to the hospital Chad discovers something that he never would have dreamed of, how he truely feels about Sonny. Channy Spoilers for 2x01


I Should Have Told Her

_The True Feelings of Chad Dylan Cooper_

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After what seems like an eternity, they finally load me into my own ambulance. I kinda feel bad for my cast, having to share ambulances with those Randoms. But of course the EMTs give me my own, after all, I am Chad Dylan Cooper.

Then again, I do think I heard them muttering something earlier about getting the kid to shut up.

Another wave of pain hits me and the EMT next to me makes sure I'm ok as he tells the other guy something medical sounding.

As he looks back at me I can't help but remember the sketch about the hottie EMT, I once did with Sonny.

Of course, that was for charity and a ratings boast for Mackenzie Falls, otherwise Chad Dylan Cooper does **not **do comedy!

Yet, for some reason, when I found out that Sonny and I were going to kiss I was, dare I say it, excited. To make it worse, I told Sonny that after she kisses me, we were going to fall in love. _We _not you, we were going to fall in love.

Why did I say that? I don't love Sonny, maybe I kinda like her as a friend… type… thing... that I want to date.

Wow! Where did that come from?!

I don't want to date her, I mean, I've been on a date with her. In fact, I've been on two dates with Sonny. But they were fake dates, fake dates that I didn't enjoy.

Ok, maybe I did like it when we were acting like a couple to make James jealous. Maybe I did like holding her hand and being all cutesy with her. And so maybe I did enjoy wrapping my arm around me as she laid her head on my chest.

Ok I enjoyed the "dates", so what? It's not like I like her, and even if I did, she doesn't like me. The only times that I've had the opportunity to kiss her, she blocked me with either her hand or a pig. The fact of the matter is, I don't like her and she doesn't like me.

But then why did I stay behind at the prom and dance with her? Why did I feel angry and miserable when I saw the picture of her kissing that guy, what's his name, Jayden? Why did I pretend to be Eric so Sonny wasn't embarrassed? And why did I offer to hang out with her after we built the doghouse?

It couldn't be… I, Chad Dylan Cooper, king of drama, couldn't be in love with Sonny Monroe, queen of comedy.

At yet, when I'm with her, I'm **not** Chad Dylan Cooper. When Sonny's around, I'm Chad, just Chad. Sonny doesn't care that I'm the star of the number one tween show, Mackenzie Falls. When I'm with her I don't need to be anything but…_me. _

They start to unload and roll me towards to emergency room as another surge of pain shoots through me.

When I enter the room there's screaming, doctors running around, scissors moving from one hand to another and a doctor screaming, "I'm only just one man!"

But the only thing I really see is Sonny, faithfully standing next to her injured friend. Only this time I'm truly seeing who is is for the first time.

She's the girl I love.

"Sonny!" I cry flopping around, "Sonny! Come here!"

She then breaks into a walk/run, reaches my bedside and softly whispered, "What Chad?"

"I need to tell you something," I say, "in case I don't make it."

"Ok," she seems to be a little scared and confused.

"I love-" I stop myself, though I don't know why. I have to tell her my feelings, there's no way I can make out of this alive.

"Yes?" she seems excited.

"I mean, I deeply love-" I'm going to say it, just one more word-

"Go on," she eagerly urges.

"That more kids will be reading less books because of Chad Dylan Cooper," my voice falters as I finish my sentence.

I wince; I can't believe I didn't tell her, why couldn't I tell her?

Sonny says that I'm coming down with something soon I ask her what it is and suddenly she's beating me with a pillow.

It almost seems as if she's upset, perhaps upset that I didn't say I love _her_. Thinking back on all those special moments that I shared with her, it almost seemed as if she loved me back.

I don't know why I couldn't tell her I love her, but as I watch her walk back over to the doctor, I can't help but think maybe there's hope for us.

Someday I'll tell her and then I'll find out how she really feels, but for now there's still hope…

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